Quatre: Number one Stunner
by Recca
Summary: What if Quatre was a pimp? Guest appearences by Trowa and Dorothy. Thanks to Rashaka for inpiring me.


Quatre: Number one stunner  
By Smokin Umbrella  
I do not own any of the charechters, I am making no money off of this, blahblahblee.   
I know the charechters are OOC, but this is a parody, so thats okay.   
  
DINDINDINDINDING!   
went the alarm on Quatre's dresser. He was still tired from the  
rough night of booze and babes that took place last night. He was a pimp, after all.  
He scratched his scrotum, and stretched. "Yawn... Damn, yo. Morning already?"   
He got up and strutted on over to the closet (he always strutted) and looked at his wardrobe.  
"Lesee now..." he furrowed his brow in thought while surveying his goods. "White tiger stripe  
suit with purple tophat or orange striped tiger suit with blue feather cap?" He hemmed and hawwed   
for a while, and then he nodded in realization. "Orange, definately." Feeling full of pimpin  
energy, he strutted once again over to his jewlery case. "Any respectable pimp has GOTTA have   
jewlery." he stated as-a-matter-of-factly. "Now which.." he was about to decide which jewlery  
he should wear, when he slapped himself in the forehead. "Of course!" he said to himself.   
"Why the hell not ALL of them?" he put on the heavy chains, and rings,grabbed his favorite  
pimp cane, and headed for the door.  
  
He was no more then a few paces out of the door when "Hey! Trowa! howsit hangin, yo?"  
Trowa smiled. "Haven't seen you in a while. I thought you had taken over the Winter families  
estates, Trowa? How come you quit?" Quatre gave a small chuckle. "Aw, G, that might have been   
fine for my old man, but you know me. I gots to ramble, know what im sayin? So I hightailed it  
out of there so i could to what I was born to do: Pimp!" And with that, he gave a hearty laugh.  
"So Trowa, what brings you here?" Trowa gave a smirk and said. "I heard you were the best pimp  
in town..." Quatre smiled. "You heard right!" he beamed. "...and I was just looking for a fine  
piece of ass, so if you could hook me up..." Quatre raised both his hands up in defense. "Whoa,  
now buddy, I don't give hook ups. Best offer 30% discount." Trowa smiled. "allright. what's   
the best broad you got?" he said with enthusiasm. "Woah woah woah!" said Quatre. "first things  
first. How much you got?" Trowa broke out his wallet. "Okay, I got (10, 20, 30, 40...) 50."  
Quatre winced in disgust. "50?!?! thats It?Youre not getting a discount if thats all you got!  
Besides, none of my bitches are that cheap!" Trowa frowned. "Isn't there something you can do?   
Im really horny!" Quatre sighed, then gave a weak smile. "Come with me. Ill see what I can do."  
  
They hopped into Quatres 1970 pink caddalac with white zebra seats, hydrolics, and  
a phat bass system. Lights were adorned around the liscence plate, which said, "BORN2PIMP."   
"So where we headed?" Inquired Trowa. "Uptown." replied Quatre. "Thats where most of my bitches  
should be... yoyoyo! stop the car!" they stopped the car and pulled over. A woman with cold   
eyes, blonde hair, and fishnet stockings was standing at the corner. The driver drove up to a   
poit where Quatre could roll down the window and talk to her.   
"Dorothy! Wheres my money?" Quatre said in an angry voice. "I...I'm sorry sir... I just  
don't have it! Give me a little more time and..." And with that, Quatre slapped her in the   
face. "Bitch betta have my money!" he shouted at her. "You think Im playin?" he added.   
  
Dorothy was crying. Quatre didn't like to make his hoes cry, and felt pretty bad as a   
result. {"I just can't get anyone!" said Dorothy through a tidal wave of tears. "Everybody  
says Im too ugly to be in business! I haven't gotten a single customer yet!" Quatre felt really  
bad upon hearing her sob story, and decided to make it up to her. "Listlen. Listen. Ill let it  
go if you do a favor for my friend here...(he pointed to Trowa.)" Trowa was shocked with disgust.  
"Her?!?! No way! She's not worth 50!" Dorothy burst into tears. Quatre gave him a dirty look, and   
gestured to Dorothy. Trowa, feeling sympathetic, rolled his eyes and agreed.  
  
Dorothy smiled. "First things first..." she said, gesturing for some money. Trowa gave  
her the 50 and...  
  
Dorothy punched Trowa in the jaw and tied his hands around his back. She put a pair off  
cuffs around his arms. "Police! This is a bust! You are under arrest!" Quatre, shocked, ran up  
behind Dorothy and tried to bash her head with his pimp cane, but dorothy side stepped it and  
he ended up hitting Trowa, knocking him unconsious. She cuffed Quatre as well.  
  
"Ill take it from here, Dorothy." said Relena Peacecraft as she stepped out of a squad  
car. "Well, well, well. What have we here?" she began. "Looks like weve got a couple of   
whoremongers in our midst!" Quatre was stunned. "You Bitch! How could you!" Relena frowned.   
"Cut the crap, Quatre. We, the Gundam Wing Girls, are tired of all your bishonen antics.   
I mean, we are all thoughtful enough to pair with you, for the purpose of adding flavor to the  
story, and look at how you treat us! No more! Weve already busted you friends Wufei and Duo.   
Those horny little buggers had it coming! I guess youll get to meet them now!" Trowa was picked  
up and shoved in the cop car, then Quatre was ushered in as well.   
  
"Oh well." Thought Quatre. "I'll be out of here in less then a week. Just like the last   
17 times." In the back seat of the car on the way to the station, one thought was one Quatres  
mind:  
  
Today was a great day for pimpin!  
  
  
THE END  
Authors notes:  
So how do you like it? This is one of my first Fanfics in a while. It was inspired by my friend,  
Rashaka. Go Rashaka! Anyway, this was just a fun little parody I did. Please R&R!  
Arigato, to Ja Ne, Minna-san! (^_^)  



End file.
